Ninety-Nine Percent Perfect: New Decade: New Me

Let's face it: I haven't always been the slimmest girl on the block. I come from a long line of women with broad shoulders, big busts and even bigger butts. We all love to have a good time, whether that means having a couple of drinks (maybe a few more than a couple) and/or indulging in the cookies and ice cream (you can never just have one bite). I've been there, I've eaten it all.

I remember coming home from college after my freshman year. Apparently I had out on the highly feared "freshman fifteen" thanks to the never-ending supply of chick-fil-a nuggets and good-ol-Miller Light (I do not condone underage drinking... Anymore). My mom immediately threw me in the car and toted me off to the local weight watchers meeting. For 3 months straight, I watched every morsel of food that entered my mouth. I counted points, drinks, cookies, calories in/calories out. You name it, I counted it. And low and behold, it worked. I shrunk from a size 10 to a size 6 that summer. I entered college that fall as a new woman, ready to take on the highs and lows of sorority life (Zeta Tau Alpha, forever and a day, hey!)!

One would think that all that hard work that I put in over the summer would have stuck with me that year and for the rest of my life. Well that one would be WRONG. My old habits came back faster than you could pop that beer top open! Splurging on Mexican hangover food, drowning my bad exam grades in margaritas with the sisters, a complete lack of exercise... I gained it all back. Plus some.

This way of dieting/gaining, binging/purging continued throughout my 20s. When you add in the multiple failed relationships of that decade (add 10 pounds per breakup and you got yourself a 50lb gain, there sista!) and the bad job market (hello unemployment line... Again), I can totally see where my problems we're coming from. I wasn't happy in my relationships, in my career, in pretty much everything I did. Therefore, I used food and binge drinking as a way to make it go away. I had several excuses out there:

1) I like to have a good time. These Miller Lights won't hurt my diet that much. (4-5 days out of the week it will, lady).

2) I'm a foodie. I can't help it if I enjoy foods with higher calorie counts (buffalo chicken wraps with blue cheese crumbles AND fries anyone).

3) I'm sure I walk enough during the day to count that as exercise, right? (Of course, walking to the next building at work on 95 degree weather is exercise, silly!)

How dumb can a gal get?

My later 20s passed quickly enough: I met the man of my dreams who loved me, chubby thighs and all, got engaged and married him. I wasn't the stick-skinny bride I always imagined myself being. I look at my pictures now and almost cry looking at them. My arms look huge, my chest is falling out of my dress, and I have a double chin. And I thought I looked BEAUTIFUL that day.

Time moves on, and my handsome husband and I find out that we're expecting a baby... Due 9 short months following our wedding. So much for losing weight, now! Through all the cravings for birthday cake and cheese (not together, I promise) I thought I did pretty well during my pregnancy. Sure, I wasn't in shape, my doctors even considered me obese (gasp, not me! I'm still that athletic girl who cheered her way through high school). Somehow I managed to stay within the recommended 20lb weight gain max that my OB/GYN gave me. I didn't have too much trouble losing the baby weight following delivery. I tried to walk as much as possible (to heal everything up "down there"), it also felt good to be outside and to be able to move easier minus that big-ol-belly.

One thing I was majorly dreading was fast approaching: my little brother's wedding. His gorgeous bride and the fellow bridesmaids weren't exactly built like I was. They were all tall and slender, practically perfect. In my mind, they've never had an issue with weight or body image in their entire lives. And then there was me. 75 pounds over weight, sleep-deprived new mom. I wanted to be those girls so badly. I wanted to wear the trendy strapless dresses and show off my svelt sun-kissed tan legs without any shame. But I couldn't. I was still that athletic girl stuck inside a body that wasn't mine anymore. I can't tell you how embarrassed you can feel when you look at your brothers wedding pictures and feel as though you ruined them by being the fat girl in them. Talk about major depression setting in.

About two months after that, it hit me. I don't have to live like this. I can take charge of my life and live in the body that I wanted. I could sit around blaming external crap for the reason my body looked the way it did, or if could take responsibility for myself, my family, my health and my future and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. So I did.

On June 26th, 2014, at THIRTY YEARS OLD, I did the scariest thing possible. I walked into a weight watchers at work meeting, stepped on the scale, and decided to be a new person. I am changing the way I look for the following reasons:

1) To be able to chase after my son when he starts running around like a crazy person.

2) To be able to wear Lilly Pulitzer clothes because they only go up to size 12.

3) To feel good about myself again. To be proud of the woman that I am. To make my husband look at me the way he looks at pretty girls on TV (nothing against my husband, he's a wonderful man, a fabulous husband and an even better father.)

4) To get rid of, once and for all, these bulky, ugly, frumpy fat clothes.

5) To be a happy, HEALTHY, new me.

I'm far too scared to tell anyone my actual weight at this moment (well, except my weight watchers leader, my husband, and my mom). I will, however provide continual updates on my weight and progress. The ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly. As of today, (7/14/14), I am officially (well, according to my last WW weigh in) 8.2 lbs less of a woman. That's right, folks! EIGHT. POINT. TWO.

Keep me in your prayers as I continue this weight loss journey! Looking forward to showing you less of me the next time I see you!

Xoxo,

Annie

PS - watch me grow through the year... how embarrassing!!