My Attempt to be Positive Polly

Hey y'all!!!

I haven't posted in about a week and decided it was time for some written therapy. For those of you who know me, I am usually Miss Optimistic. I see the glass half full... of champagne, with strawberries on the side, and maybe a new car to go with it. I ALWAYS try to look on the bright side and find the best in situations and in people. But lately, this hasn't been the case. Do you ever have those weeks, months, years, where nothing seems to go your way? Passed over for promotions, bank account seems empty from having one of those unexpected emergencies pop up, dog destroys house while you're away at work, gained weight even though you stuck to your diet and exercise program? Welcome to my week. 

I feel like I need to reverse my karma and STOP complaining about all of the bad things that happen in my world and start appreciating them for what they are: unrealized blessings. I know God has a plan for me and that by not giving me that job promotion I really wanted or allowing my dog eat an entire tube of A&D ointment (she's fine now, I swear), He's teaching me a lesson, asking me to have faith and trust in Him for all of my (and my family's) needs and wants. 

In an effort to prove my trust and turn my frown upside down, I'm going to list off what I would normally complain about and instead, I'm going to find the light at the end of the tunnel and thank God for the blessing that I received instead. Here we go!!

1) I gained FOUR pounds this week. F. O. U. R. Do you know how long it took me to LOSE those 4 measly pounds? A month. And to gain them all back in a week absolutely blows my mind. (Crud, I'm complaining. This is harder than I thought it would be... back to positivity). Let me first recognize where my weight gain came from: PMS & menstrual cycle weight gain. It's really hard to look on the bright side of gaining weight that I've worked so hard to lose, BUT if I had to find something, I guess I could thank God for giving me a regular menstrual cycle that allows me to NOT struggle with fertility. I have so many friends that struggle to get pregnant, and my heart aches along side of them as I follow them on their journeys to parenthood. Thank you God for giving me the ability to get pregnant without struggle, so that I can have a lovely monthly cycle that causes me to gain 4 (oh so sad) pounds each month. Give me the strength to work my bootie off this coming week and lose those 4 pounds plus some. :)

2) I didn't get a job promotion that I really really REALLY wanted. I know, most people would be sad at first and then get over it within a day or so. Believe me when I say that I have tried. However, this isn't the first job promotion that I've interviewed for that I haven't received. THIS YEAR ALONE I've interviews for FOUR new positions, each of which chose to go with a different candidate. 6 months of work (was out 2 months due to maternity leave), 4 job interviews. I'm looking at let-you-down-easy/ thank-you-for-trying email about every other month or so. Picking myself up, dusting myself off, and trying again is getting harder and harder to do. SO - let's try to find the bright side of this story, shall we? Thank you, God, that I still have a job and that I still bring in a decent paycheck for me and my family. I may not make the kind of money that I would like, but then again who does? I can provide food, clothing, shelter, and fun to the ones I love. I have enough and I am grateful for all that He has given me and my family. I pray that a new career challenge finds me soon so that I can grow and learn as I feel I have maxed-out of the learning opportunities in my current role. God, also please grant me the patience to trust that you will lead me to the career of my dreams - or at least lead me to my next step towards the career of my dreams. 

3) My dog is absolutely insane. This past week she destroyed the following: one nearly-new bottle of A&D ointment (the kind you put on baby boys following a circumcision), a baby bottle (the expensive Dr. Brown's kind), a couple of to-go boxes she pulled from the trash, as well as peeing in the house... Twice. I can take the blame for some of these infractions, I suppose. Mike and I decided to leave her out of her crate last Thursday and Friday. We thought that since she's now 6-yrs old, she might have calmed down enough to be able to handle the house on her own without her crate. We. Were. Wrong. Sooo, bright side? Let's see... Thank you, God, for allowing my dog to pee in my house on our carpet, right in the middle of our living room. My mother is coming next week and we definitely needed a reason to rent a carpet cleaner this weekend. We now have that reason. Thank you for allowing Millie to eat that tube of ointment - her insides are now oily clean and her gastrointestinal tract is working perfectly (hello, gassy puppy). That's about all the good I can see from this one. 

So there you have it. Three bad things I was able to turn around and find my blessings in. IT CAN BE DONE! Before I wrap things up, I'm going to leave you with a list of things I'm excited about:

1) Mom is coming to Jacksonville next week! 5 more days. CANNOT WAIT.

2) A week from today I will be flying to Nashville, TN for the AJLI Fall Conference. CANNOT WAIT.

3) WeeTrade sale is next week. Consignment Heaven! CANNOT WAIT.

4) I learned out to use my embroidery machine last night. My first attempt is pretty epic. 

Hope y'all have a fantastic weekend! Remember to look on the bright side and count your blessings! 

Cheers!

Xoxo,

Annie

Baby craziness!

I sit here in my rocking chair, looking out over my dining and living room wonder when baby toys took over my house.

There's the high chair to my left, covered in sweet potato stains that just won't come out (reminder, I need to buy more bleach). The exersaucer is in front of me, my son's favorite toy. The Playskool elephant ball throwing game, various blocks, teething rings, lovies, a container of gerber graduates "puffs", a floor toy that's lounger than necessary, and, of course, about 15 pacifiers varying in age, brand, and color. Don't forget the bouncer, stroller and car seat that don't ever seem to find a home.

Not my house, but glad to know someone else has this same problem! 

Gone are the days where my house stayed decently clean throughout the week. Farewell walks to the kitchen in the middle of the night without stepping on a baby farmhouse animal.

I may sound like I'm complaining. In all actuality, I LOVE IT. I love seeing my son's gadgets, toys, lovies, and puffs all over the house. He is simply the greatest joy in my life and I couldn't be prouder to be his mommy... Even if it does mean My surroundings have changed! Definitely a change for the better!

I love you, Parker!

Xoxo,

Annie

Let's Go Gamecocks!

It's here!!!! 2014 college football officially takes off TONIGHT with my South Carolina Gamecocks kicking off against the Texas A&M Aggies (who can tell me what an Aggie is?).

I am so excited I can hardly stand it. It's funny to me how quickly things have changed, though! Just a few years ago I was tailgating with the family, tossing back some beers and munching on some epic tailgate food. 

Mikey, Deb, ME, Mom, Katie & Dad!

Me and my fabulous mom!

In 2011, I met my AMAZING husband... only downside - he's a Gator fan. 

My husband and I at the UF vs UofSC game in 2012!

Cut to last year at this time... It was exactly 52 weeks ago (from today) when we found out that our little peanut was going to be a mister instead of a miss. No Carolina girl for this mommy-to-be! I was meant to raise my very own "boy of ol' Florida!" 

Even though I said we were having a Florida Boy, 

I may have purchased some Gamecock clothes (just in case): 

Here's a pic of us tailgating last year! We were able to make it up to the UofSC vs FL game in Columbia! Definitely had fun partying with the family (sober, of course).

Me = 7.5 months pregnant and looking more like 9 months pregnant! 

Was even able to get the husband into a Carolina shirt last year!

Pretty sure he was giving me pregnancy pity. 

AND THEN THERE WERE THREE:

I may have told my husband that Parker was going to be a Florida boy... But who are we kidding? When mommy does the shopping, mommy buys gamecock gear!

My little gamecock, just about 24 hours old!

Testing out our Carolina gear last week.

Here's me and my little guy today before work/baby school.

Can't wait for kickoff! Go Gamecocks!

Forever to thee,

Xoxo,

Annie

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!

My favorite dieting quote is from the beautifully skinny Kate Moss: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Let's be honest. This is SO TRUE. Being skinny (let's add in healthy, too, for all those health-nuts out there), is just about the best feeling in the world.

I mean, just look at her! She's tall, thin, blonde, and has those sultry eyes that I can't even try to recreate myself (I am horrible at doing makeup). To be able to try on a new dress, in the tiny-person size and it zips up perfectly, with no tight areas or body fat lumping over the sides... Sighhhh, must be nice to be you, skinny girls!

I will say that my weight-loss challenge has been an easy road so far! Today officially marks 2 whole months on the Weight Watchers diet. I've lost 21.6 pounds officially on the WW diet, 22.4 if you count what I've lost since my weigh-in last week. I'm down a pants size (well, hello there, pre-baby pants) and I have more energy. My husband also says he can tell I'm happier and that I'm starting to like myself again. BUT, the struggle is real, folks!

Football season is upon us, and with that brings the calorie-induced comas that I fear in the worst way! Cheese dips, cheese fries, BEER, Bratwursts, chicken wings, VODKA TONICS, pulled pork, ribs, WINE WINE & MORE WINE! How in the heck am I going to make it through this Fall? 

Lucky for me, I have a supportive husband who likes to try out my low-calorie recipes, and tries his best to make non-drinking weekends fun. I also have a fabulous mother who encourages me daily and reminds me why I'm doing this weight-loss challenge to begin with! Without these two, I'm not sure I would be as successful as I have been so far. Well, them and the WW program. It's so stinking easy.

That being said: I've decided to give myself a new challenge. To add some fun to it, and to keep myself accountable, I'm also posting it to this blog so you peeps can yell at me when I go off track!

I want to lose 20 pounds by Christmas time. That's 17 weeks from now. Pretty much a pound, maybe a little more, a week. TOTALLY DOABLE! To make sure I stay on track I'm also giving myself a 10 pound/half-way goal. I need to lose TEN POUNDS by my beautiful cousin Katie's wedding, October 18th. That's 7 weeks from now. I'm thinking I got this! 

Wish me luck this weekend! I'll be amongst the non-dieters while we watch college football and dine on cheese, meats, treats and alcohol! 

Cheers & Go Gamecocks!

xoxoxo,

Annie

Going under the knife!

Greetings readers!!

Anyone who knows me, knows that since pretty much 7th grade, I've been well-endowed in the tata-division. I never stuffed my bra in middle school, frankly because they were already plenty big. The other girls were stuffing their bras so that they could look like me (imagine that?!?)!

As I gained weight in my twenties, so did my boobs. I went from a healthy 36-C in my early twenties to a voluptuous 38-DD in my late 20s. All the while thinking, there has GOT to be a purpose to these giant balloons on my chest! I assumed that since I had such larger breasts that I wouldn't have any problem nursing my son. I couldn't have been more wrong.

From the moment he was born, Parker had an extremely hard time "latching on" as the doctors described it. My mom said he had a weak "sucker", my husband thought be might have been a little "lazy". Granted, he was born 2 weeks earlier than his due date, so maybe he wasn't "fully baked" shall we say? Nonetheless, my kid wanted nothing to do with my breasts. 

So, for three months straight, I pumped. I pumped when I woke up, I pumped at 10:00am at work, I pumped at 2:00pm at work, I pumped after work, I pumped before bedtime, and I pumped in the middle of the night. The entirety of Parker's infancy was spent hooked up to a machine that made me feel like a cow. 

Sure, I was providing "natures milk" to my son. I was sacrificing my days I order to feed my son what everyone considers the abosolute BEST in nutrition for babies. I judged those other women who went straight to formula. Even though I secretly wanted to do the same. I thought about giving up time and time again, but the guilt would hit me and I would start to feel like a horrible woman.  

You can see the size of my chest in this picture...

Right around the 3-month mark, something magical happened. Parker latched on. My-oh-my I have never been so happy! This meant that I could feed my baby the way nature intended! No more honking machine tugging at my swollen achy chest. Everything during that 3-4 month period was fantastic. I felt closer to my son than I ever had. But then came the question from his sitter: "Are you feeding Parker in the mornings? He screams and cries for food about 10 minutes after you drop him off!"

"Oh, no!" I thought. All this time I thought Parker and I were really doing great! It turns out, my body had started to wean itself. I was making less and less milk, which meant that Parker was getting smaller and smaller meals. No wonder he was in the 15th percentile in weight at his 4 month check up! Mother-of-the-year, right here, folks!

This gave me yet another reason to hate my boobs. They were HUGE, made my back and neck feel like they were in knots, and now, they weren't even doing the job they were made for! Enough was enough. I finally gave in to my own guilt and called a plastic surgeon. 

After two appointments, measurements, the oh-so-awkward topless photo session, and several phone calls later, my doctor determined that I was a candidate for a breast reduction surgery. (I must mention that my doctor confirmed that my breasts did NOT shrink after I stopped breast-feeding. I was one of those lucky women whose breasts grew post-nursing.) 

My doctor submitted my case over to the insurance company around the middle of June. He said not to get impatient as it usually takes 2-3 weeks to hear back from them. One day after work, I notice a letter in my mailbox from my insurance company. Excitedly, I rip open the letter, only to find out that my procedure had been DENIED. My heart sank and I immediately burst into tears. My sweet husband vowed to me that one day, somehow, we would find the money to pay for the surgery ourselves and told me not to worry. For the next month, I pretty much forgot about the whole thing. 

Yes, my shoulders killed me. Yes, my back ached. None of my pre-pregnancy shirts fit. I was angry at my insurance company - the same company that I worked for. "How could they do this to me... I'm an employee!" I thought.

Then, the surprise of a lifetime happened. I received a voice message from my doctors office asking me to call back. My mind racing, I immediately returned the call. "What in the world could they want? They already denied me, I definitely don't have $6k available to pay for it myself."

Turns out, I picked a fantastic doctor. Unbeknownst to me, he had scheduled a peer-to-peer review of my case directly with my insurance company. He convinced them that my procedure was necessary and that I was an excellent candidate for the surgery. I was COMPLETELY IN SHOCK. All that time, thinking I was stuck with this body and these breasts I hated, and now I finally get my wish! Oh happy day!

-------

Cut to Friday, August 8th, 2014:

I went under the knife this day and haven't regretted a single second of it. I went from a 38DDD (yes, a triple D) to a 38B. My shirts fit better, my back doesn't hurt anymore, my neck feels brand new, and I can walk without hunching over and I can sit up straight without dying from pain. I will say, just like every woman who has had this surgery, this was the best decision (for my body) that I have ever made.

Day of surgery

Day after surgery 

Parker and Mike's Baptism, 2 days post surgery.

I feel like me again. And I can't wait to see where this new body can take me!

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo,

Annie

PS: I'm still doing Weight Watchers and as of today's date (8/15/14) I'm officially down 17.4 pounds!! Kicking butt and taking names! 

New Decade: New Me

Let's face it: I haven't always been the slimmest girl on the block. I come from a long line of women with broad shoulders, big busts and even bigger butts. We all love to have a good time, whether that means having a couple of drinks (maybe a few more than a couple) and/or indulging in the cookies and ice cream (you can never just have one bite). I've been there, I've eaten it all. 

I remember coming home from college after my freshman year. Apparently I had out on the highly feared "freshman fifteen" thanks to the never-ending supply of chick-fil-a nuggets and good-ol-Miller Light (I do not condone underage drinking... Anymore). My mom immediately threw me in the car and toted me off to the local weight watchers meeting. For 3 months straight, I watched every morsel of food that entered my mouth. I counted points, drinks, cookies, calories in/calories out. You name it, I counted it. And low and behold, it worked. I shrunk from a size 10 to a size 6 that summer. I entered college that fall as a new woman, ready to take on the highs and lows of sorority life (Zeta Tau Alpha, forever and a day, hey!)!

One would think that all that hard work that I put in over the summer would have stuck with me that year and for the rest of my life. Well that one would be WRONG. My old habits came back faster than you could pop that beer top open! Splurging on Mexican hangover food, drowning my bad exam grades in margaritas with the sisters, a complete lack of exercise... I gained it all back. Plus some. 

This way of dieting/gaining, binging/purging continued throughout my 20s. When you add in the multiple failed relationships of that decade (add 10 pounds per breakup and you got yourself a 50lb gain, there sista!) and the bad job market (hello unemployment line... Again), I can totally see where my problems we're coming from. I wasn't happy in my relationships, in my career, in pretty much everything I did. Therefore, I used food and binge drinking as a way to make it go away. I had several excuses out there:

1) I like to have a good time. These Miller Lights won't hurt my diet that much. (4-5 days out of the week it will, lady).

2) I'm a foodie. I can't help it if I enjoy foods with higher calorie counts (buffalo chicken wraps with blue cheese crumbles AND fries anyone).

3) I'm sure I walk enough during the day to count that as exercise, right? (Of course, walking to the next building at work on 95 degree weather is exercise, silly!)

How dumb can a gal get?

My later 20s passed quickly enough: I met the man of my dreams who loved me, chubby thighs and all, got engaged and married him. I wasn't the stick-skinny bride I always imagined myself being. I look at my pictures now and almost cry looking at them. My arms look huge, my chest is falling out of my dress, and I have a double chin. And I thought I looked BEAUTIFUL that day. 

Time moves on, and my handsome husband and I find out that we're expecting a baby... Due 9 short months following our wedding. So much for losing weight, now! Through all the cravings for birthday cake and cheese (not together, I promise) I thought I did pretty well during my pregnancy. Sure, I wasn't in shape, my doctors even considered me obese (gasp, not me! I'm still that athletic girl who cheered her way through high school). Somehow I managed to stay within the recommended 20lb weight gain max that my OB/GYN gave me. I didn't have too much trouble losing the baby weight following delivery. I tried to walk as much as possible (to heal everything up "down there"), it also felt good to be outside and to be able to move easier minus that big-ol-belly. 

One thing I was majorly dreading was fast approaching: my little brother's wedding. His gorgeous bride and the fellow bridesmaids weren't exactly built like I was. They were all tall and slender, practically perfect. In my mind, they've never had an issue with weight or body image in their entire lives. And then there was me. 75 pounds over weight, sleep-deprived new mom. I wanted to be those girls so badly. I wanted to wear the trendy strapless dresses and show off my svelt sun-kissed tan legs without any shame. But I couldn't. I was still that athletic girl stuck inside a body that wasn't mine anymore. I can't tell you how embarrassed you can feel when you look at your brothers wedding pictures and feel as though you ruined them by being the fat girl in them. Talk about major depression setting in.

About two months after that, it hit me. I don't have to live like this. I can take charge of my life and live in the body that I wanted. I could sit around blaming external crap for the reason my body looked the way it did, or if could take responsibility for myself, my family, my health and my future and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. So I did. 

On June 26th, 2014, at THIRTY YEARS OLD, I did the scariest thing possible. I walked into a weight watchers at work meeting, stepped on the scale, and decided to be a new person. I am changing the way I look for the following reasons:

1) To be able to chase after my son when he starts running around like a crazy person.

2) To be able to wear Lilly Pulitzer clothes because they only go up to size 12. 

3) To feel good about myself again. To be proud of the woman that I am. To make my husband look at me the way he looks at pretty girls on TV (nothing against my husband, he's a wonderful man, a fabulous husband and an even better father.)

4) To get rid of, once and for all, these bulky, ugly, frumpy fat clothes.

5) To be a happy, HEALTHY, new me.

I'm far too scared to tell anyone my actual weight at this moment (well, except my weight watchers leader, my husband, and my mom). I will, however provide continual updates on my weight and progress. The ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly. As of today, (7/14/14), I am officially (well, according to my last WW weigh in) 8.2 lbs less of a woman. That's right, folks! EIGHT. POINT. TWO. 

Keep me in your prayers as I continue this weight loss journey! Looking forward to showing you less of me the next time I see you!

Xoxo,

Annie

PS - watch me grow through the year... how embarrassing!! 

 NYE - 2005

 NYE 2006

Summer 2007

Fall 2008

Spring 2009

Summer 2010

Spring 2011

Summer 2012

Spring 2013

Spring 2014

6 months of PFA

As many of you know, babies grow fast. You blink your eyes and POOF they're all grown up. Our little one is no exception. He has gone from being a small and vulnerable newborn to a roly poly 6 month old. Before we know it he'll be graduating from High School! Okay, maybe not that fast, but this growing up thing seems to happen a lot faster to our own kids than it did for us when we were kids. Years speed by like months speed by like days, like hours, like minutes... Way too quickly!

Here are a few of our favorite moments that we've captured since the day out lives changed forever!

Just a couple of days old! Cutie Pie!

Curious eyes! Always alert!

He wasn't too happy with Mommy this day.

Happy little 2 month old! Loves to smile!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This boy can sure make some funny faces!

Dancing in the outfit from Auntie Liz!

Smug little 4 month old!

He loves his exersaucer! LOVES IT!

Our little guy discovered solids and beefed up!

Can someone help me find the Sprout channel?

And here's the update from today! Mr. 6 months old!! 

Loving his toes!

Stay tuned for the next 6 months! Our little boy continues to surprise us!

Xoxoxo,

Annie

And then there were THREE

So there we were, two happy people, just back from our honeymoon, settling down into our new married life. When it hit us. BAM! Guess what! We were expecting!! 2 weeks post honeymoon my doctor confirmed: I was pregnant! Every emotion flowed through our minds. Nervous, excited, happy, thrilled, so-in-love! 

Here's a picture of our little nugget! 12-weeks or so?

We had so much fun planning our new roles as parents. From decorating a nursery: 

To finding out that we were expecting a mini-Mike!!

Pregnancy was relatively easy for me. Minus the back aches and headaches, I had a pretty unremarkable 9 month process.

We were so excited and ready to welcome our little man into our lives! 

AND THEN IT HAPPENED! 

The morning of January 10th, 2014 (two weeks before my due date) I woke up to a broken water! So we headed to St. Vincent's Southside Hospital. Here's our last photo as a family of two!

At 11:20pm, our amazing first son, Parker Farris Ames came into this world weighing 7lbs 6oz, 20.75 inches long! 

More photos of our sweet boy to come in future posts!

Xoxoxo,

Annie